It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
