Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
