is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
