We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
