you guys were way drunker than both of me
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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