Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
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