I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
