Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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