Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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