Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
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