And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
