Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
