I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
