I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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