White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
