So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
