Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
