dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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