My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Randomize
