Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
the day after is always just damage control
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Randomize
