Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
