IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
