Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
