I think my vagina is haunted
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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