dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
