Have you finally orgasmed yet?
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
i've created a new STD.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
