I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
