I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
