Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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