just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
