I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
