Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I deserve to be covered in dicks
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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