I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
