Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
