she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
