I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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