I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Church boner. Awkwardddd
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Randomize
