I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
