Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
