Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
