What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
