So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I just found a bag of teeth...
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Sext me about skeletons
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
