I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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