either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
ok first of all what the fuck
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
