And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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