I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
