Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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