so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
There's even glitter on my cock...
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