I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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