she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
