oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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