I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
