That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
